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The hot-headed young D’Artagnan along with three former legendary but now down on their luck Musketeers must unite and defeat a beautiful double agent and her villainous employer from seizing the French throne and engulfing Europe in war.
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The Three Musketeers is the latest film by Paul W S Anderson, writer and director of two Resident Evil films and the recent Death Race remake. If the thought of this man mangling an Alexandre Dumas novel is making your hair fall out, you might be surprised to hear that in plot terms, his version’s surprisingly faithful: Porthos (Ray Stevenson), Athos (Matthew MacFadyen) and Aramis (Luke Evans), along with their young disciple d’Artagnan (Logan Lerman), are sent to retrieve a diamond necklace belonging to the French Queen (Juno Temple), with the mysterious Milady de Winter (Milla Jovovich) in tow.
The tone, however, is marginally different. Half action pantomime, half candy-coloured steampunk comic, Anderson’s Musketeers is packed with flying galleons and hoik-’em-up bodices, both of which are exploited to the fullest by his cartoonish 3D cinematography.
It’s a lot more fun than the most recent hatchet-faced entry in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, but it’s also exasperatingly slapdash. Pretty as the action setpieces are, they never seem to count for much: halfway through a dazzling siege on the Tower of London, Athos admits the diamond necklace they’re hunting isn’t even there.